your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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