if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
