Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
