i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Randomize
