dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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