Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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