it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
you traded sex for a burrito?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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