the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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