Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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