To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
