i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
