And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
