hotel room ftw
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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