is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
