Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
