Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
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