It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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