i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
