This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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