I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
