yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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