you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
