NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
