I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize