I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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