Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
