and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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