And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
