The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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