There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dick very happy bro
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize