in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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