i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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