hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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