I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
