they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
