To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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