So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
