Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
