you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
dude. I can hear the air.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
