if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
