i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
