you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
