would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize