btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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