Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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