the condom got lost in my hair
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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