I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
