The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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