We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
