my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
