i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
