brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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