I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize