i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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