i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
