My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
