he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
